Come back to me.

How dare you fall for me with secret wings on your back?

Why did you fly away back to your sanctuary when I can now be the one?

How did you manage to leave me alone in this hole?

In this hole called love.

Never thought that you’ll be tired waiting for me

Never thought that I’ll fall for you like this

Never thought that you’ll leave me right now

Right now that I already jumped, fell for you

Why leave leaving no apparent reason at all?

Why leave and say nothing at all?

Why leave me now that I already know?

that you’re the one for me, that you’re the one I wanna be with

Advertisements

My choice, My mistake

I entered the field of writing without any worries. My family, friends, and boyfriend supported me all through out my journey as a writer but little did I know, their hearts were slowly drifting from our bonds. 

I didn’t have time to go out for bondings. I was so busy with writing novels, my books. I just realized that I didn’t have time for my family. They were attending reunions with our relatives without me even if I’m free to go with them. They won’t inform me about the gatherings. Maybe, they’re tired of being rejected all over again. 

My friends had new other friends. They befriended a different circle of people. They didn’t tell me. I just see their posts in the social media. There, I knew they don’t recognize me as their friend anymore.

And lastly, my boyfriend, I thought we are okay and good, that our relationship is growing stronger as we have different struggles in life but No. I just remembered that we didn’t yet go out for a date since I published my first book. I was so busy with writing, writing, and writing—didn’t notice that we haven’t spend time together for a while and he’s already busy dating some other woman. 

Now, I’m crying for the loss. Crying like I didn’t have the choice well in fact I had a lot. 

I should have took some time with my family. I should have joined them in their vacation trips. 

I should have at least exchanged messages constantly with my friends, said ‘hello’, ‘hi’ and ‘what’s up’.

I should have come up with date ideas with my boyfriend in the weekends or at least, spend my evenings with him just watching some movies

But I didn’t. 

I chose a tiring, time-consuming, privacy-invading life where I am famous instead of a simple but happy life with my family, friend, and boyfriend. 

Factors of a Good Relationship

Relationship is a bond that connects two or more people to each other. That’s what a relationship is for me and because we’re now talking about relationship, it’s not just about those romantic relationship that almost everyone is talking about. This is also about your relationship with your friend and family. So, you might wanna know these factors that are from my own knowledge and experience. 

  1. Trust—We say that trust is the basic foundation of a relationship and it’s true. Without trust, how can you be sure that you can rely on each other?
  2. Love—Well, of course love is a must. If you don’t love, why would you care?
  3. Communication—Let’s face it. In a relationship, we get distant to each other as our communication get lost. So if I were you, I’ll keep a constant communication with the the people I love.
  4. Being understanding—Don’t let pride win against love. Understand your loved ones with the things they can’t do. Trust me, you’ll have less regrets by doing so. Keep your love, not your pride.
  5. Time—It’s the best gift for anyone. Having sometime with someone you love is greater that giving them a material. It will be more appreciated than those expensive, sassy things out there.

Sobs of hurting

I want to close my eyes but I won’t
I want to runaway but I won’t

I want to slap your face and tell you how much I’m hurt but I won’t

’cause I can’t so I won’t

All I did was to watch you kiss her with lust, pleasure and love

All I did was to stand here, enduring the pain

All I did was to cry the pain out silently

So you won’t hear me suffering

So you won’t hear the sobs of hurting

I know you didn’t love me from the start

I know that this will eventually end when the time comes

I know that I will be hurt 

But here I am, still not prepared of losing you

You Didn’t Care

You had another girl while with me

I stayed

You left me hanging for your family

I waited

You hurt me, not just emotionally but physically

I understood

You’re not sorry

I forgave you

I stayed even if it’s painful

You didn’t appreciate that

I waited for you

You didn’t care

I understood every little or big mistake you do

Still, you didn’t care

I forgave you even if you don’t deserve to be forgiven

You didn’t notice that

Still, I ‘m with you

But there was a day that I just feel so tired of everything.

Dad met an accident, Mom’s depressed, and you— you. 

I don’t know if You still love me.

I confronted you. For the first time, I told you everything you did that hurt me and everything you didn’t that made me feel so bad but…

Still, you didn’t care.

Every person has it’s own limits and I already reached mine. I’m sorry for not being enough but that’s all that I’ve got— loving, caring, and understanding you. 

Selos.

Bakit ba hindi ko mapigilan? 

Kahit na ito’y di naman kailangan,

bakit tuluyan pa ring nararamdaman?

Bakit ba nagseselos pa rin ako sa mga bagay na wala namang katuturan?

Mga simpleng pag-uusap nyo,

usapang wala namang bahid ng malisya at kung ano,

Sa tuwing nakaraan na naman ang usapan,

Bakit ang nakaraan nyo pa rin ang aking nasa isipan?

Alam ko namang wala ng kahit ano ang namamagitan sa inyo

Alam ko namang ako na ang mahal mo

Alam ko namang wala akong dapat ipagselos 

ngunit ito pa rin ang nararamdaman ko.

Nasaan na?

Ikaw,

Ikaw na sa aki’y nagbigay saya,

Ikaw,

Ikaw na nagparamdam sa’kin ng pagmamahal,

Ikaw,

Ikaw na aking minahal,

Ikaw, 

Ikaw na patuloy pa ring minamahal

Nasaan ka na nga ba mahal kong ikaw?

Nasaan ka na nga ba?

Nasaan na nga ba ang pag-ibig na sa aki’y noong inaalay?

Nasaan na nga ba ang s’yang dating ikaw?

Parang kailan lang noong ika’y nagmamakaawa, halos lumuhod sa aking harap mapansin ka lamang. Parang kailan lang noong ako’y iyong minamahal pa, kahit na hindi pa nasusuklian pag-ibig mong inaalay.

Binigyan ka nang pagkakataong mapakita ang iyong damdamin. Binigyan ka nang pagkakataong kilalanin ang aking sarili. Binigyan ka ng pagkakataong makasama ako ngunit…

Anong nangyari sa atin? 

Mayroon pa ba akong aasahan sa atin?

O wala na nga bang kahit anong atin?

Bakit ngayon pang ika’y mahal na?

Bakit ngayon pang ika’y kailangan na?